I love him so much, but he won't talk to me.

It's funny.  Not in the ha-ha way.

The thing is, he'll look at me.  He'll be around me.  But he won't talk to me.

   The other day, after school, he was kissing his girlfriend...  I was behind her.  Through my perefferel (sp?) vision, he was looking at me.  His beautiful brown eyes were locked on mine.  I knew I was turning a little pink...  But when she walked away, I turned my head sideways to see him, and our eyes met for a moment, and he walked away.

I remember the one week where he came over every night...

• Monday:  We were sitting in the kitchen at the table.  Max was whipping up a drink or something.  So there we were.  He turned to me in his chair, and his face was kind of close to mine, when he leaned foreword, his hands clasped, elbows on his knees.  He looked me in the eye and said, "Are you a virgin?"  Suprised, I leaned back a little, and opened my hazel eyes a little more.  "Uh...  Eh...  What?"  With the way I reacted, he probably knew I understood, but realized that the inquiration was too personal.  And of course I am!!  "Have you ever kissed a boy?"  Blushing, I said, "No."  "Good," he replied, "Keep it that way," and he leaned back in his chair.  I can't tell what he meant.

• Tuesday:  He went skateboarding with Max, but Max took a while to get home after we got home.  He and I were downstaires in the living room.  He picked up Max's old blue lightsaber toy, and swung it around slowly...  I think he was showing off.  He poked himself in the stomach with it.  x3  When he set it down, he slipped on a sweatshirt...  I saw a little bit of his back...  He was so tan!  Since it was cold.  He did this superhero pose, with his fists on his hips, and his chest puffed out.and said, "So, how do I look?"  I had to laugh.  Yes, he looked as handsome as they get, but the pose was so funny!  Plus, he had his long, brown hair swaying with his movement.  He asked If I was 14.  I told him I'm 13, and that's when he told me...  "You're so mature."

• Wednesday:  he came to church with us.  I fixed him some ramen, and he seemed to like it a lot.

I don't remember what happened on Thursday.

But that whole week, every night, he played with my hair some.  I don't know what to think.

I love him so much.

Does he think of me as a sister, or does he like me the way I do him?  Max said that he doesn't think of me as a sister, but he may have just been cheering me up.

I'm so clueless.

And still in love.

Natsu